You are a confusing, beautiful, beating contradiction.
You are wild and you are gentle; you struggle with staying in one place, with feeling trapped and succumbing to monotony.
But you seek quiet, you long for peace and you strive to be a place of safety where others can find their solace.
You are soft and you are tough; you feel so deeply, you break a little daily and you are so often discouraged.
But you mend, you rebuild, you learn how to incorporate the wounds and the scars and you keep beating within.
You are a cynical idealist; you see the best possible version of every situation but you also see the pitfalls and the doubts. You see the destination, the prize, the wonderful possibility of what could be.
But you get caught up along the journey, focusing only on the next step and forgetting to lift your eyes to the finish line. You become discouraged if the reality doesn’t match up to the impossible perfection of your dreams.
You need to be reminded that, actually, the reality is pretty freakin’ awesome.
I’m sorry for when I focus on you being more of one thing than another.
For when I don’t allow you to process things the way that you need to.
For when I seek the wild when you need to feel the calm.
For when I try to be tough when you need to be soft.
For when I don’t let you dream for fear of failure.
For when I’ve felt like it hasn’t been enough.
You have done your best. You have done well.
And you are constant. You beat within me. Never stopping, never tiring.
Pressing me on to life from one beat to the next.
From one decision to the next.
I promise to try and listen to you more, to listen to your steady rhythm and to try and keep pace with your beat.
Thank you dear heart.
You are a confusing, beautiful, beating contradiction and I wouldn’t have you any other way.
Michelle is a midwife from Manchester who has a passion for Jesus, Gin and all things purple. When she’s not looking after pregnant women she’s usually covered in dust and paint from an up-cycling project, seeking sunshine, or binge watching Netflix with her bunny, Stanley.